Trust

I have been “working” on trusting God more. It’s been an effort since my dad was diagnosed with cancer and some other hard things have happened in my life and the lives of those around me. Listening to a sermon on Sunday, I realized that something that happened when I was married to my first husband has the simple key for trusting God.

Before we married, I remember telling my ex that we were getting married for life. We were not ever getting divorced. I probably used that word…”never.” I was in the marriage for life and he better be as well. No matter what. (Funny how I use “ex” as his pronoun when stating I was in the marriage for life. Kind of an oxymoron;))

Several years into what was an unhealthy marriage in nearly every respect, we were out together one night, at our usual place, a bar. It was crowded, loud, smoky and chaotic. I usually sat in a corner with my can of pop talking to my husband’s friends wives. But this night, I was talking to one of my husband’s friends standing at the bar.

I was upset. I had been told that his wife was telling people that my husband was having an affair. She was very drunk that night so I couldn’t talk to her. I told her husband that I didn’t want her telling people my husband was unfaithful. I told him that if our marriage was going to survive, and I wanted it to, then I had to trust my husband. I can still see the skeptical expression on his face. I was determined though.

I made a conscious and willful decision to trust my husband even when the evidence against him was overwhelming. I did it because of my commitment to him, our marriage, and our children. It wasn’t easy. I made that decision over and over in my marriage. Every time someone told me about another woman, I made the decision to trust again. Every time I saw him flirting with or holding another woman, I made that decision again. Over and over again. I chose to believe his explanations and lies.

Was I crazy to trust him? Maybe. But not trusting him meant my marriage was over. I was still committed to him for life. I did what I had to do to remain married. Obviously, we divorced but it wasn’t my commitment that changed.

Where this all connects with my thoughts this weekend about trusting God is this: If I could make such a strong commitment to trust someone unworthy of my trust, I can sure make a profound commitment to trust God who is most worthy of my trust. If I could decide on an almost daily basis to trust my husband, I can decide on a daily basis to trust God. If I could see the evidence of infidelity and decide to trust, I can see sickness, hurricanes, earthquakes, and other troubling things in this world and not let it break my trust in God. Trust starts with a decision to trust.

I decided to trust an untrustworthy man and live like he was trustworthy. I am deciding to trust a trustworthy God and know that He is trustworthy no matter the circumstances in my life and the lives of those around me. I am trusting the Father of life, the Creator of the universe, the Lover of my soul. I made a commitment to Jesus Christ for life when I accepted Him as my Savior. The difference with this commitment; He will never leave or forsake me. He has loved me with an everlasting love, love that has always been and that will always be. He is incapable of being unfaithful to me because He is incapable of sin. He gave up His life so I could have life. He is always there for me, even when I’m being a brat. He never shames me. He never blames me. He never ever lies to me.

When I trust God, I won’t have to worry about His commitment or His Love because they will always be there. I won’t have to be concerned that someday I will look back and question the wisdom of trusting Him. He will prove worthy of my trust daily. I can believe Him because He is truth, He cannot lie.

Making the decision to trust means that when something bad happens, I consciously state, “I am trusting You in this situation, Lord. I am going to lean on You and trust that you will bring good out of it and give me strength to survive it.” Then it means that I pray for that strength as I need it and trust that He will give it to me. I keep turning to Him, relying on Him, taking my comfort from Him. I keep deciding to trust even when things look black.

He has a plan. He is sovereign. I am making a decision to trust His plan, no matter how hard it is. And then I’m going to live in that trust.

Father God, I am deciding to trust You today. It if rains, I will trust You. If the sun shines, I will trust You. In sickness, health, life and death, I will trust You today. When I am afraid, I will trust You. I trust You to get me through today and I trust You for tomorrow as well. I trust You to give me wisdom and peace. I trust Your presence and Your love. If at any time today I am acting as if I have forgotten I trust You, remind me in a way I cannot miss. I believe the words You have given me in your Word. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for never leaving me. Thank You for my life.

When I accepted Christ as my Savior, the pastor who led me in my prayer didn’t call it accepting Christ, he called it Trusting Christ. I trusted Him to save me from the punishment due me for my sins. I trusted Him to lead me. I trusted His love for me. I trusted Him for eternal life. I remember the pastor asking me, “Do you want to trust Jesus?” and I responded, “Yes.” And I became His. It hasn’t been easy. I struggle with trust as I said. Life gets in the way. In all the decades since I “trusted” Jesus, I have always known He is a prayer away, ready to help, ready to listen, and ready to show me love. If you have never accepted Christ as your Savior, this Salvation Poem from centershotministries.org is a simple prayer you can pray:

Jesus, you died upon the cross and rose again to save the lost. Forgive me now of all my sin. Come be my Savior, Lord, and Friend. Change my life and make it new. And help me, Lord, to live for You. 

God bless you as you TRUST.