I will do it myself! I’m like a toddler who demands she be able to dress herself but when she’s done, her pants are inside out and backwards, her shirt is backwards and the collar is choking her, the heels of her socks rest on the top of her feet, and her shoes reside on the wrong feet. And still she looks up so proud of what she has accomplished on her own. That’s me. All messed up and yet thinking I did it all on my own as I struggle with the problems my own will has brought to me.
I want to follow Jesus all day every day. I want to. But I don’t. I want to do what He wants me to do. I want to walk the steps He wants me to walk. He has plans for me. I know that. I know those plans are good and through them I will have hope and a future as told in Jeremiah 29:11. But I keep walking my own path instead. Why?
I trip over my shoes, my socks keep slipping down into those shoes, I can’t find the zipper to remove my pants, my empty pockets flap in the wind because I can’t reach them to put anything in them, and my head is tipped back so I can breathe around that cramping collar. And yet, I keep saying “No, I will do it myself!” And God steps back and allows me to do just that. He’s like that. Lets me make my own choices, watches the messes I make and waits for me to turn to Him and say, “I need you. I can’t do it myself. Please help me.” And when I do, He steps in and helps me put my pants on right side out and frontwards, turn that shirt around so it’s not choking me anymore, gets my socks and shoes on right so I can walk that walk He planned from the beginning. When I’m tired enough of the messes I create in my own will, I’ll turn. And He will be there waiting to help me. Thank God!